Hum-Tum_ – 09 July

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Cindy walked in. "Hi, Jared. Have you learned yet?" I'm scared, Cindy. Very scared. And you got bumped out of the pixie slot. These two." Awww," Cindy said, "I liked being the pixie. But if I gotta get bumped."I looked back and forth between Jared and Cindy. "Cindy, I don't think he believed Tina."Tina shrugged. "I tried tellin' 'im." Did you make progress?" Cindy asked. "Jared's supposed to be useful." She smirked at Jared."Oh, yes," I said. "You should see. We hooked up the camera platform. We're ready for the RF gun." We're trying, baby," Tina said. "Those things just aren't that common." We could do that other thing," Rachel said."Yeah, the AirSoft pellets. We just have to add an element to make sure we don't fire them at too close a range. Can't have larcenous squirrels with six millimeter plastic pellets in 'em." And we have to have an air supply." Or we have to do mechanical..." Rachel said."Or a teeny, tiny railgun," I popped, watching Cindy."I am NOT giving you my railgun. " 'Mushy' is something you are going to need to learn if you are going to have any luck with the girls," I grinned, "I don't think we've quite reached the stage where you can just walk over to a girl and say 'drop them'. Just read the lines and sound as though you mean them, I'll read Juliet."So he read the lines and though they didn't sound as though it were a love lorn youth calling to his beloved at least it was close enough to pass. For the life of me I couldn't understand why he had volunteered to act in the school play, my son had never shown an interest in such things before, so I finally asked him."Yeah well," he grinned, "I thought they were going to do something else." Like what?" I asked out of curiosity."A thing called Confessions." He grinned in reply, "It's all about the confessions of some randy sod in the Victorian age." I've never heard of it," I laughed, "but I should have known it had something to do with sex." Yeah well, the head put the boot in and stopped us.
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” He then said “oh, well, I’m not judging, just saying they look nice, probably feel good on the skin too.” He walked past me and picked up the pantyhose by the toe of one of the legs. “Oh, its pantyhose!” he exclaimed. “Have to say, black pantyhose is sexy, don’t you think?” The only reply I could muster was “I guess so, but they aren’t mine.” He said “they aren’t your girlfriend’s?” I repeated “they aren’t mine.” The employee next said “well, that’s a shame that these nice pantyhose were lost. Most lost items we hold in the lost and found but something like this I will just throw out.” The employee raised the pantyhose in front of him and looked at them closely. “I don’t see any rips in them, fucking shame to throw them out” he said. By this point I wanted my pantyhose back and I had a chance to really look him over and I wanted to fool around with him desperately. I didn’t say anything. After a few moments he balled the pantyhose up in his hands. “Oh these are soft”.

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